How we have coped....

Coping with loss, NICU, after the NICU and Autism.  Many people wonder how we have coped over the past 6 years.  I think both Stephen and I have gone through different phases of processing all that has happened.

The loss of Kaleigh was obviously devastating.  But we take comfort in knowing we did everything we could to give her life.  We struggled with decisions on how to keep her with us and we treasure the days we had and the opportunity to know her just a tiny bit and for a very short time.  The day she passed away will be forever etched in our memory.  It was the worst day I think of our entire lives.  But over the years we have come to grips with it and try to focus on our boys.  We could have easily lost Braden too.  We would have never attempted to have another baby and now if we had to choose between Grayson and Kaleigh well you must know that decision couldn't be made.  We are thankful that all the decisions were really made for us.  We realize that nothing is truly in our control.  We have to let ourselves be guided by the creator and all our decisions are given by him.

NICU life was made bearable by the wonderful nurses, doctors, and respiratory therapist at Baptist Hospital.  They are truly the most amazing people taking care of the most fragile and precious babies ever born.  Braden is our hero.  He was the one who kept us going.  All things for a long time were for him.  He gave us a reason to wake up in the morning.  He also gave us many terrifying moments when we thought we may lose him and those times have made us truly appreciate what we have with him.  You can never truly appreciate your child no matter what his capabilities until you have lost a child.  Until you have repeatedly almost lost another child.  It makes you eternally grateful for LIFE.  All LIFE whether it's a child with special needs or not it doesn't matter.  You are grateful for all the little things.  For being able to breathe another day.  Watch your child grow.  Every moment is special no matter what you are doing.  Nothing is taken for granted ever.

Autism - in light of everything else that could have happened this was the last straw for me.  It saddened me greatly and in itself probably wouldn't have dealt such an overwhelming blow if we hadn't been through so much already.  So 2013 and two diagnosis threw me under the bus big time.  But now that we have found a new path for Braden to help him be the best Braden he can be and with Grayson's amazing abilities that continue to lead him on the path to success we are in a much better place.   Every day we strive to help our kiddos become self sufficient but we also strive to have fun and make their child hood like any other kids.  We expose them to as many new things as possible to help them grow and learn new things.

We may not have an ordinary life but it is an extra ordinary life.

No comments:

Braden's car

Braden's car

Adjusted age ticker

Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

Braden's new Car

Braden's new Car
1/10/08

Braden's new car

Braden's new car
1/10/08

Braden

Braden
Chick Magnet outfit 2

Braden

Braden
Chick Magnet outfit

Braden

Braden
12/13/08

Braden

Braden
12/13/08

Braden

Braden
Mr. Smiley

Braden

Braden
having a better day

Braden

Braden

Braden

Braden
11/2/08

Braden

Braden
11/2/08

Chillin on his boppy

Chillin on his boppy

Trying to take off his mitten

Trying to take off his mitten

Tummy time

Tummy time

Braden

Braden

Braden

Braden
10/3/08

Braden

Braden
Look Mommy I pulled out my nose tube again...

Braden

Braden
10/1/08

10/01/08

10/01/08

Braden

Braden
9/30/08

Braden

Braden
9/30/08

Braden in Camo

Braden in Camo

Braden

Braden
9/12/08

Braden

Braden
9/12/08

Braden

Braden
9/12/08

Braden

Braden
He loves to put his hand under his cheek. So cute...

Braden

Braden
Another photo to show how big Braden is...

Braden

Braden
Please ignore me in these photos. I just wanted you to see how big Braden has gotten.

Braden

Braden
9/10/08

Braden

Braden
8/21/08

Braden playing with his keys

Braden playing with his keys

Braden

Braden
8/17/08

Braden

Braden
8/17/08

Braden and Mommy

Braden and Mommy

Braden and Stephen

Braden and Stephen
8/10/08

Braden and Stephen

Braden and Stephen
8/11/08

Braden

Braden
8/06/08

Braden

Braden
8/6/08

Braden

Braden
8/6/08

Braden

Braden
8/6/08

Braden

Braden
After his bath

Braden

Braden
7/31/08

Braden

Braden
Tummy time

Braden

Braden
Playing in his mirror.

Braden

Braden

Braden

Braden
7/30/08

Braden

Braden
7/30/08

Braden

Braden
7/30/08 Braden checking out his wrist toy.

Braden

Braden
7/20/08 Enjoying his swing

Braden

Braden
7/18/08

Braden

Braden
7/15/08 Braden and his NG tube

Braden

Braden
7/7/08 Braden before his Dr. visit. He was happy this morning.

Braden

Braden
7/7/08 Braden looking at his Daddy taking his photo.

Braden

Braden
7/2/08

Braden

Braden
7/2/08

Braden

Braden
7/2/08 In his BeBe Pod. He's not sure if he like it just yet.

Braden

Braden
6/19/08

Braden

Braden
6/19/08

Braden

Braden
6/18/08

Braden

Braden
6/12/08

Braden

Braden
6/11/08

Braden

Braden
6/9/08

Braden

Braden

Braden

Braden

Braden's new toy

Braden's new toy

Braden and his Daddy

Braden and his Daddy

Braden

Braden
Last nite on his trach nose since we had no power. He did really well.

Braden

Braden
5/31/08

Braden & his wubbanub pacifier

Braden & his wubbanub pacifier

Braden at home

Braden at home

Braden and his tummy time Boppy

Braden and his tummy time Boppy

Braden

Braden
5/29/08

Braden

Braden
5/29/08

Braden

Braden
5/27/08 Getting set up at home.

Braden

Braden
5/27/08 in the van.

Braden

Braden
5/27/08 On our way out of the hospital

Mommy and Braden :-)

Mommy and Braden :-)

Braden and nurse Sherry

Braden and nurse Sherry

Braden's home coming

Braden's home coming
5/27/08 In his carseat. :-)

Braden

Braden
5/24/08

Braden

Braden
5/23/08

Braden

Braden
5/22/08 Braden with Nurse Patty

Braden

Braden
5/20/08

Braden

Braden
5/20/08 Braden and his nurse Stacy

Braden

Braden
5/19/08

Braden

Braden
In one of Missy's outfits. Can you see how big he is.. in his newborn clothes.

Braden

Braden
With Nurse Rachel. He is not mad at her he's got gas. :-)

Braden

Braden
5/17/08

Braden

Braden
5/17/08

Braden

Braden
5/16/08

Braden

Braden
5/16/08

Braden

Braden
5/16/08

Braden

Braden
5/16/08

Braden

Braden
5/14/08

Braden

Braden
5/14/08

Braden

Braden
5/14/08

Braden

Braden
5/14/08

Braden

Braden
5/14/08

Braden

Braden
5/14/08

Braden

Braden
5/14/08

5/11/08

5/11/08
Braden

Braden

Braden
5/11/08

Braden

Braden
5/10/08

Braden

Braden
5/10/08

Braden

Braden
5/10/08

Braden

Braden
5/10/08 4th months old today

Braden

Braden
5/7/08

Braden

Braden
5/7/08

Braden

Braden
5/7/08

Braden

Braden
5/4/08

Braden

Braden
5/4/08 Dressed up in his puppy dog attire.

Braden

Braden
5/4/08 Look at those big beautiful eyes.

Braden

Braden
5/4/08

Braden

Braden
5/4/08 Taking his bottle like a big boy.

Braden

Braden
5/4/08

Braden

Braden
5/4/08 In cousin Riley's lightning outfit.

Braden

Braden
5/3/08

Braden

Braden
5/3/08

Braden

Braden
5/3/08

Braden

Braden
5/3/08

Braden

Braden
5/3/08

Braden

Braden
5/1/08

Braden

Braden
5/1/08

Braden

Braden
5/1/08

BRADEN

BRADEN
5/1/08

BRADEN

BRADEN
5/1/08

Braden

Braden
4/30/08

Braden

Braden
4/30/08

Braden

Braden
4/29/08

Braden

Braden
4/29/08

Braden

Braden
4/28/08

Braden

Braden
4/28/08

Braden

Braden
4/26/08

Braden

Braden
4/26/08

Braden

Braden
4/26/08 Frog feet pajamas from Ashley.

Braden & Family

Braden & Family
4/26/08

Braden & Family

Braden & Family
4/26/08

Braden

Braden
4/26/08

Braden

Braden
4/26/08

Braden

Braden
4/25/08

Braden

Braden
4/25/08

Braden

Braden
4/24/08 In his bouncy seat.

Braden

Braden
4/24/08

Braden

Braden
4/22/08

Braden

Braden
4/22/08

Braden

Braden
4/22/08

Braden

Braden
4/21/08

Braden

Braden
4/21/08 Getting a break from his bottle

Braden

Braden
4/20/08

Braden

Braden
4/20/08 King Braden in his frog outfit

Braden

Braden
4/19/08

Braden

Braden
4/19/08

Braden

Braden
4/19/08

Braden

Braden
4/19/08 Taking his bottle

Braden

Braden
4/19/08 Wide awake after his feeding.

Braden

Braden
4/18/08

Braden

Braden
4/18/08

Braden

Braden
4/15/08 In his big boy bed

Braden

Braden
4/15/08

Braden

Braden
4/13/08 Look both eyes. :-)

Braden

Braden
With both eyes open 4/13/08

Braden

Braden
4/12/08

Braden

Braden
4/11/08

Braden

Braden
4/11/08

Braden

Braden
4/11/08

Braden

Braden
4/10/08

Braden

Braden
4/10/08

Braden

Braden
4/10/08

Braden

Braden
4/9/08

Braden

Braden
4/9/08

Braden

Braden
4/7/08

Braden

Braden
4/7/08 still at Vandy

Braden

Braden
4/2/08

Braden

Braden
4/2/08

Braden

Braden
4/2/08 Daddy holding Braden for the first time.

Braden

Braden
4/1/08 Dino outfit and blanket

Braden

Braden
4/1/08

Braden

Braden
Braden and Nurse Missy who sang a very lovely song to him tonite.

Braden

Braden
4/1/08

Braden

Braden
4/1/08

Braden

Braden
3/31/08

Braden

Braden
3/31/08

Braden

Braden
3/31/08

Braden

Braden
3/31/08 Braden is now 36 weeks gestational age. He will be 3 months old on April 10th.

Braden

Braden
3/31/08

Braden

Braden
3/31/08 Sleeping so peacefully

Braden

Braden
3/31/08 Momma holding Braden

Braden

Braden
3/31/08 He's telling them to be quiet or he's thinking. You decide.

Braden

Braden
3/31/08 Patty pics

Braden

Braden
3/28/08 Such a cutie :-)

Braden

Braden
3/28/08 Braden's alligator apparel

Braden

Braden
3/28/08 The Green bean bag alien from Roswell.

Braden

Braden
3/25/08

Braden

Braden
3/25/08

Braden

Braden
3/25/08

Braden

Braden
3/25/08

Braden

Braden
3/24/08

FEEDJIT Live Traffic Feed

Braden

Braden
3/24/08

Braden

Braden
3/24/08

Braden in Camo

Braden in Camo
3/23/08

Braden in Camo

Braden in Camo
3/23/08

Braden

Braden
3/23/08

Braden

Braden
3/23/08

Braden

Braden
3/20/08 Look how big he's getting.

Braden's new isolette

Braden's new isolette
3/18/08

Braden's new Isolette

Braden's new Isolette
3/18/08

Braden

Braden
3/16/08

Braden

Braden
3/16/08

Braden

Braden
3/16/08 Photo from last nite while Mommy held Braden

Braden

Braden
3/15/08

Braden

Braden
3/15/08

Braden

Braden
3/14/08

Braden

Braden
3/14/08

Braden

Braden
3/14/08

Braden

Braden
3/14/08 This duck is not as big as it looks.

Braden

Braden
3/14/08

Braden

Braden
3/12/08

Braden

Braden
3/12/08

Braden

Braden
3/11/08 New bedding..

Braden

Braden
3/11/08 Both eyes open. Taken with the lights down and no flash. He won't open them otherwise.

Braden

Braden
3/11/08

Braden

Braden
3/11/08 Doesn't he look bigger?

Braden

Braden
3/11/08

Braden

Braden
3/10/08 2 months old today. :-)

Braden

Braden
3/9/08

Braden

Braden
3/9/08

Braden

Braden
3/9/08

Family photo

Family photo
3/7/08

Braden

Braden
3/7/08 Photo by Aunt Paula

Braden

Braden
3/7/08 Our first family photo

Braden

Braden
3/7/08 Braden's tooth. Photo courtesy of Nurse Patti

Braden

Braden
3/7/08

Braden

Braden
3/6/08

Braden

Braden
3/6/08

Braden

Braden
3/6/08

Braden

Braden
3/5/08

Braden

Braden
3/5/08 Photo by Aunt Paula

Braden

Braden
3/3/08 With his mittens and hat to warm him up after his bath.

Braden

Braden
3/3/08

Braden

Braden
3/3/08

Braden

Braden
3/3/08

Braden

Braden
3/3/08

Braden

Braden
2/29/08

Braden

Braden
2/29/08

Braden

Braden
2/29/08

Braden

Braden
2/29/08

Braden

Braden
2/28/08

Braden

Braden
2/27/08

Braden

Braden
2/27/08

Braden

Braden
2/27/08

Braden

Braden
2/26/08

Braden

Braden
2/26/08

Braden

Braden
2/05/08

Braden

Braden
2/25/08

Braden

Braden
2/22/08 Evening visit

Braden

Braden
2/22/08 Daddy's a little better at taking my photo.

Braden

Braden
2/22/08 This is what happens when Mommy forgets to turn off the flash.

Braden

Braden
2/18/08 You can see he is still very little even though he's reached 2 lbs.

Braden

Braden
2/18/08 Look zero tubes :-)

Braden

Braden
2/18/08

Braden

Braden
2/16/08 Is that a smile on his little face:-)

Braden

Braden
2/16/08

Braden

Braden
2/16/08

Braden

Braden
2/16/08

Braden

Braden
2/16/08 Still off the vent what a trooper.

Braden

Braden
2/14/08

Braden

Braden
2/14/08

Braden

Braden
2/12/08

Braden

Braden
2/11/08

Braden

Braden
2/11/08 Braden on his camo and frogs blanket. Very Cute.

Braden

Braden
2/11/08

Braden

Braden
2/11/08

Braden

Braden
2/7/08

Braden

Braden
2/6/08

Braden

Braden
On his own blue bunny blanket given to him by Judy G.. :-)

Braden

Braden
2/6/08 with his purple passy

Braden

Braden
2-4-08 Sometimes it's just too hard to get a non blurry shot. He is so small. But, this is a picture without tape on his chin.

Braden

Braden
2/2/08

Braden

Braden
2/2/08

Braden

Braden

Braden

Braden

Braden

Braden
2-1-08

Braden

Braden
Our little superman 2-1-08

Braden

Braden
1-29-08

Braden's new hat

Braden's new hat
1/29/08

Braden

Braden
1-28-08

Braden

Braden
1-28-08

Braden

Braden
1-25-08

Braden

Braden
1-25-08

Braden

Braden
1-21-08 All I want to do is sleep.

Kaleigh

Kaleigh
1-21-08 Both eyes open and a non blurry picture. Thank you Daddy.

Kaleigh

Kaleigh
1-21-08 with both eyes open. Mommy had a hard time with the camera so my apologies for the blurred photo.

Braden

Braden
1/20/08 Little Kaleigh's photo last nite didn't come out. They had her in the dark so it was difficult to get a good shot. :-(

Braden John

Braden John
1-19-08 Still sleeping away and really tired but doing very well.

Kaleigh Grace

Kaleigh Grace
1-19-08 She doesn't look so comfortable but they had just flipped her back on her back. She would rather be on her belly.

Kaleigh

Kaleigh
1-19-08 Good pic of her little face.

Braden

Braden
1-19-08 resting peacefully from a hard day of breathing on his own.

Braden

Braden
1-18-08 with his purple passy

Kaleigh

Kaleigh
1-18-08 evening

Kaleigh 1-18-08

Kaleigh 1-18-08
Our little hero has showed us that she is a fighter.

Braden

Braden
1-18-08 first day off his ventilator. :-)

Kaleigh 1-17-08

Kaleigh 1-17-08
Resting so she can get stronger.

Braden 1-17-08

Braden 1-17-08
Has his lamp off today. So we can see his cute little face.

Kaleigh

Kaleigh
Laying on her pink gingham blanket. They just changed out that morning.

Braden

Braden
That's Mommy's hand on Braden's little head. In an effort to calm him.

Kaleigh

Kaleigh
They had Kaleigh on her side today. What a large diaper she has on.

Braden

Braden
Loves to sleep on his tummy. Kaleigh likes it too.

Braden

Braden
1/14/08 Stretched out and relaxed

Kaleigh

Kaleigh
1/14/08 crinkling her forhead

kaleigh grace

kaleigh grace
1/12/08

Braden John

Braden John
1/12/08

Blog Archive

About Me

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I am a stay at home Mommy to two beautiful boys ages 8 and 6.  I am also Mommy to one little girl who blessed us with 13 days of life.  Our road may be crazy and full of surprises but in this household Autism exist but doesn't define who my children are or will become.  I am also a blogger.  I love to write about our families crazy journey through life.  We love, laugh and suffer sometimes but we stick together and always seem to keep growing and going.